I recently had an experience which made me realized the more I fought a feeling, the more it controlled me. I was subsiding my emotions for my own reasons. When I thought I finally had it under control, it suddenly surface in the least expect time and place. My mind was blank and I was not my self, tears just overflowed.
From this experience I learned I needed to be true to my emotions and sometimes needed to release it without worrying about its outcome. One friend told me not to apologize for my emotion, they are part of me, the real me. People who value you and cherish you will not forsake you. They will listen and be considerate of you. As for those who mistreat or think badly of you, it’s really not your doing. It’s their thoughts and actions which are not your responsibilities. We are each responsible for our own actions and thoughts. Their evil thoughts about you does not equal you are evil. Their thoughts stem from within in their own creation. Then how could we overcome what bother us? Today I read the following, it turned a light on for me.
“Replace negative thoughts rather than resisting them. Whatever you resist, persists. The more you fight a feeling, the more it controls you. The secret of victory over any temptation is simply to change the channel of your mind. Refocus your attention on some-thing else, and the temptation immediately loses its power over you.”
~ The Daniel Plan, page 26
Refocus! What a powerful switch that flips and transforms our thoughts. Instead of focusing on the broken glass, focus on the beautiful sparkles that broken glass creates ^_^
Ever since I can recall my mom has always tried to grow and fruit the Buddha palm squash. These sensitive plants usually do not fruit the first year.  Every year for more than 10 years she tried to nurture these plants. She would care for it and water it meticulously. Blankets would be used in cold winter nights and uncovered in the day. Day by day she would care for it as if it were a child. One way or another it would always die within the first or second year without fruiting. I concluded a long time ago that this plant will not fruit for her. Today, amazingly, her two-year old plant sprout two beautiful babies. I’m overjoyed for her triumph. Hopefully they will grow big and yummy for me to eat…hahaha.
Reminder to self: If you want something, never give up, persistence, patience and tender loving care will always prevail.
2 am, I am tossing and turning with the fan on. I couldn’t sleep not because of the heat but because of an unsettled feeling.  I haven’t had this feeling for a while. I tip toed barefoot down the cool hall way floors and slip into my mom’s bed wanting some comfort as she is snoring like a babe. I wonder how she does it? How she is able to sleep so soundly and effortlessly? I hug her foot and tried to sleep. Her fan stops and my heart flutters more, this uneasiness was just not settling. I could no longer find the peace and comfort in her presence as I always did. Why? Have I grown too old and become too worldly? I slowly slipped away again and she stirs, “Leaving because the fan’s off?” she mumbles in her sleep. I respond pathetically not wanting to disturb her further, “Yeah….”, but then I manage what was almost a whisper, “…my heart feels unsettled for some reason? I don’t know what influenced my distress?” as I tracked my way back to my room. She muffled, “Settled or not settled heart…sleep first.”  Sheepishly I agreed,”Okay I’ll try….” and bam I was asleep. How amazing was that? Mom is powerful even as an adult.
Reminder: There’s a time for everything, night-time is for sleep and nothing else. Worrying won’t help or change anything.
It’s been a tradition for me to take my mom to all the good Pixar movies and we couldn’t miss this one. She is now the kid in the family. The movie was awesome, my mom laughed and randomly shouted in Chinese during the entire movie. As you probably guessed, her english is worse than mine hence the natural reflexes. She gets very exited while watching movies, yes, even cartoons. It’s embarrassing, good thing we were in the dark and hey, all the other parents couldn’t control their kids either.
I just wanted to do a quick post on this cute little snail. He’s not a significant character in the movie just a little guy that appeared for a few seconds. His only line was, “I can’t be late for the first day!” then he takes a deep breath and runs with all his might. Of course he doesn’t go very far, it’s so hilarious. By nature he’s not quick but is oozing with determination and positive energy. He doesn’t give up. That’s what counts! He’s a very good role model, wouldn’t you say? I am also slow by nature, his infectious determination was so sweet, cute and encouraging. I just couldn’t help but notice.
Donut: A spongy ring that helps you make a bun, aka DIY sock donut made with socks.
I’d like to share something silly with you. Like most girls/women I fell in love with the “sock bun” the moment I saw it in a Japanese/Korean magazines. It looks so romantic and cute… Ok, why is it such a big deal for me? Other people can just grab a sock and make a bun, easy job! But for me, my mother gave me extra tough and bossy hair. Armed with all sorts of hair pins and gadgets I used all my force to tame the wild beast into place but my hair just slipped and slide effortlessly from my grasp like slippery stiff noodles. I made a DIY sock donut, bought a donut, ate a donut, and still it didn’t work. My sock bun became a big poofy mess, not to be mistaken with a messy bun, it fell apart with the slightest move of my head. Why…why me, why is it so complicated? Why can’t I do what others can do easily? I deserve a simple sock bun!!! Do I have to put massive products in my hair for this to work? I hate hair products. I am lazy. I just want an easy breezy hair bun, that’s all. I’m not asking for too much, am I!!?? I was pretty upset at the whole thing.
Before creating a Gutsy Sock Bun. Top: Other’s sock buns. VS Bottom: My sock buns.
After all the failures, I was tired and frustrated. I think my arms got a little slimmer from fighting with my hair, 😀 I wish. My hair is a monster! Then I said to myself, “I will not be defeated!!! Arhhhhh!!!”, “If only I had more hands, like…like an octopus with infinite tentacles, they could help me push my hair in place. Then making a bun would be as easy as pie.” I cranked the juice and thought of ways I could achieve this. With my eyebrows pinched together I concentrated, “Sock bun, sock bun, sock bun….tentacles…Buddha with infinite hands…maybe pipes…a hoe…tube…”, and then, “Sock….sock…sock tube!!!” Epiphany hit me, “Why not use a sock? Who says the sock has to be the donut? It’s a soft bendable tube (a circular hand), it’s the perfect infinite hand.” After trying my idea, it worked better then I expected. In fact it works for any type of bun, side bun, top bun, low bun, any bun you can name. It’s a sock bun turbo charged, you can make a bun blind folded in half the time you would on a sock bun and it would turn out perfect! I was so excited I made my first video hair tutorial to share it with everyone. Any type of soft tube would work for this Gutsy bun, for example, I made a fat side bun with a fingerless glove for fun. Try this tough and brave (Gutsy) bun against your disobedient hair, you won’t regret it.
June 2013: “Gutsy sock bun” master plan, me a genius ^_^. My modesty went out the window. As you can see, I am super happy with the results.
Remember: “Where there’s a will there’s a way.” So, don’t give up, keep at it, you will solve whatever that is troubling you, very soon. All this talking about buns is making me hungry…and thanks for enduring my rant if you’ve reached this far down the article ^_^.
I look so serious, it’s my first time doing a video tutorial.
