July 3rd, 2013 § § permalink
2 am, I am tossing and turning with the fan on. I couldn’t sleep not because of the heat but because of an unsettled feeling.  I haven’t had this feeling for a while. I tip toed barefoot down the cool hall way floors and slip into my mom’s bed wanting some comfort as she is snoring like a babe. I wonder how she does it? How she is able to sleep so soundly and effortlessly? I hug her foot and tried to sleep. Her fan stops and my heart flutters more, this uneasiness was just not settling. I could no longer find the peace and comfort in her presence as I always did. Why? Have I grown too old and become too worldly? I slowly slipped away again and she stirs, “Leaving because the fan’s off?” she mumbles in her sleep. I respond pathetically not wanting to disturb her further, “Yeah….”, but then I manage what was almost a whisper, “…my heart feels unsettled for some reason? I don’t know what influenced my distress?” as I tracked my way back to my room. She muffled, “Settled or not settled heart…sleep first.”  Sheepishly I agreed,”Okay I’ll try….” and bam I was asleep. How amazing was that? Mom is powerful even as an adult.
Reminder: There’s a time for everything, night-time is for sleep and nothing else. Worrying won’t help or change anything.
June 27th, 2013 § § permalink
It’s been a tradition for me to take my mom to all the good Pixar movies and we couldn’t miss this one. She is now the kid in the family. The movie was awesome, my mom laughed and randomly shouted in Chinese during the entire movie. As you probably guessed, her english is worse than mine hence the natural reflexes. She gets very exited while watching movies, yes, even cartoons. It’s embarrassing, good thing we were in the dark and hey, all the other parents couldn’t control their kids either.
I just wanted to do a quick post on this cute little snail. He’s not a significant character in the movie just a little guy that appeared for a few seconds. His only line was, “I can’t be late for the first day!” then he takes a deep breath and runs with all his might. Of course he doesn’t go very far, it’s so hilarious. By nature he’s not quick but is oozing with determination and positive energy. He doesn’t give up. That’s what counts! He’s a very good role model, wouldn’t you say? I am also slow by nature, his infectious determination was so sweet, cute and encouraging. I just couldn’t help but notice.
August 9th, 2012 § § permalink
Deeply caring and loving someone can blow everything out of proportion. It creates unnecessarily enormous emotions which can result in serious damages to both parties. Step back, take a deep breath, and clear your mind. It was never so bad after all. What matters most is you both love each other very much.
July 26th, 2012 § § permalink
Tonight my elder brother shared a story with me. On his 25th birthday he celebrate with over 30 to 40 friends. They all took turns to wish and cheer him with drinks an so he drank and got drunk . After he arrived home, alone in his apartment, depression and loneliness took over him. Everything spiral downwards. He was emotional and physically miserable. He hated this feeling and thought to himself, “Why did I drink? I don’t like alcohol. What was all the drinking for? Not for myself… but for the enjoyment of others.”
He swore not to drink alcohol again and he would only do things that made himself happy. By this time it was 5am, to brush off these feelings he decide to go for a morning drive. As he drove, he noticed the sign in front of the church had changed. With the sunrise peeking from behind, the sign read, “To Believe, Just Believe”. At that moment epiphany hit him. “To be Happy, Just be Happy”, “To Love, Just Love” This can be applied to life in many ways, it was all that simple.
I am very touched knowing that God had answered my prayers. He was watching over and taking care of him. After all these years of being alone he has turn out to be a very good, strong, and kind man. I am not as strong as him and have many doubts if I will ever be, but I will not give up. I will always strive to better myself daily. Yet my brothers says,
 “To Believe, Just Believe. If you truly understand something you will not need to try, you will know how to apply it without difficulty in all things. It’s as simple as that.”
~ 哥哥
I guess I don’t get it yet… I guess I will know when I don’t have to try… So simple yet so deep…
